BeyBlade: The new Obsession
By Le Chupacabra
No, I’m not here to sing praises in the honour of the latest and greatest (?!) fad that has the kids of the nation gripped. In fact, this is a, shall we say, rant against the absurdity that is BeyBlade.
Okay, the whole fiasco began with Pokémon. They showed the anime on Cartoon Network, kids loved and soon they were after the merchandise, as it is with most things of the same nature. Stores went ballistic with selling thousands of Pokémon Trading Cards. In fact, people are still buying them! Gotta catch ‘em all, right?
Then Toonami India bagged another pathetic anime license (I mean what gives? Where’s FMA, Naruto, Cowboy Bebop… the good stuff?). This time they got yet another tournament-based one by the name of BeyBlade. Now, if you thought Pokémon was grating and annoying, then don’t ruin your day with this one. I mean, seriously, what if the “Blade Breakers” are faced with a dire situation of horrific proportions: a puppy is in distress and must be rescued! *cue dramatic music* Now since they’re all “beybladers” it would be utter sacrilege if they tried to save the mutt by conventional methods. So what would they do? They’d “let it riiiiipp!!!” with their beyblades. Ah yes, the many uses of a spinning top know no bounds. This should give you an idea on how even the most mundane problems on the show are impossible to overcome unless they bust out their “blades”. The fights are the typical “But-haha!-I’ve-yet-to-reveal-my-true-power!” style slugfests. It doesn’t get more “been there, done that” than this. The characters are also the epitome of stereotypical-ness. Coupled with the whole “Americanization” process (more on that another day), a rather lacklustre show was made even lamer. God, don’t even mention the “new and improved” music…
BUT defying all logic, this show is a huge hit with younger public. Smelling the green once again our ‘deshi’ stores have been bringing in the goods on a near-constant basis. Unlike Pokémon, where the games and cards were the nearest you could get to the experience, with Beyblade, they’ve stepped it one notch further. That’s right kids! You can now buy your very own beyblades and tournament rings right here! All your “favourite” beyblade avatars are available in toy-stores across the nation. Just go into any of them and ask for “Beb-let” and you’ll be presented with a dusty collection of little spinning tops that can be launched into battle! Why not even form a little group and give yourself some silly name while you’re at it! The thoughts are sickening…
While waiting for my car one day, I decided to check out Metro Plaza to pass the hours. It was scary to say the least. Large paper signs proclaiming “Beblet! Beblet! Beblet! Come to our store to buy! Yadda Yadda…” were almost everywhere to be seen on the first floor. What was even scarier were the hordes of little kids dragging their moms and dads into stores to buy them a beyblade so they too can be part of the “in” crowd! I went into one of these stores, looked around to make sure no other customer was there and mumbled “Beyblade ache?” The shopkeeper’s eyes lit up, he gave me a large yellow-toothed smile and yelled to his assistant to bring out all the beyblades, sorry “beb-lets”, they had. A very dusty pile of crushed and otherwise, severely abused, plastic toy cases were dumped in front of me. The packaging was faded and the toys themselves looked like they’d been brought here in a leaky old freighter which was on its last propeller. There was kanji all over the packaging proclaiming god knows what and a bunch of “blade” stats at the back. The tops were pitifully small and the paint-work was horrible. Some looked like one small bump would shatter them. Out of curiosity, I asked for the price. I was expecting maybe 100 to 250 at the most since they did come with launchers. I WAS NOT expecting a number like 600. And those were the cheap ones! He also brought out slightly bigger beyblades (in better condition, thankfully) with absurd features like metallic rims and specifications like “low grip rolling” and “semi-flat turning” and what-not. I didn’t dare ask the prices of those ones. Then to finish it off he brought out the créme of his collection, a boxed beyblade set with two large beyblades and a tournament arena (which is just a nicer word for “large metallic bowl”). The price was astronomical. I know people’s spending habits can be odd, but why the hell would you spend so much on that rather cheap, trashy looking stuff? Weren’t wooden tops and string good enough?
A few weeks back my kid brother was invited to a birthday party. It wasn’t a normal party either! On the invitation card was written in big bold letters (with pictures) “BeyBlade Tournament”! I almost fell over. The stories I heard after he got back only confirmed it all: the kids have simply gone mad thanks to “beb-let”.
I only shudder to think what’s next in this line of anime fads…
Okay, the whole fiasco began with Pokémon. They showed the anime on Cartoon Network, kids loved and soon they were after the merchandise, as it is with most things of the same nature. Stores went ballistic with selling thousands of Pokémon Trading Cards. In fact, people are still buying them! Gotta catch ‘em all, right?
Then Toonami India bagged another pathetic anime license (I mean what gives? Where’s FMA, Naruto, Cowboy Bebop… the good stuff?). This time they got yet another tournament-based one by the name of BeyBlade. Now, if you thought Pokémon was grating and annoying, then don’t ruin your day with this one. I mean, seriously, what if the “Blade Breakers” are faced with a dire situation of horrific proportions: a puppy is in distress and must be rescued! *cue dramatic music* Now since they’re all “beybladers” it would be utter sacrilege if they tried to save the mutt by conventional methods. So what would they do? They’d “let it riiiiipp!!!” with their beyblades. Ah yes, the many uses of a spinning top know no bounds. This should give you an idea on how even the most mundane problems on the show are impossible to overcome unless they bust out their “blades”. The fights are the typical “But-haha!-I’ve-yet-to-reveal-my-true-power!” style slugfests. It doesn’t get more “been there, done that” than this. The characters are also the epitome of stereotypical-ness. Coupled with the whole “Americanization” process (more on that another day), a rather lacklustre show was made even lamer. God, don’t even mention the “new and improved” music…
BUT defying all logic, this show is a huge hit with younger public. Smelling the green once again our ‘deshi’ stores have been bringing in the goods on a near-constant basis. Unlike Pokémon, where the games and cards were the nearest you could get to the experience, with Beyblade, they’ve stepped it one notch further. That’s right kids! You can now buy your very own beyblades and tournament rings right here! All your “favourite” beyblade avatars are available in toy-stores across the nation. Just go into any of them and ask for “Beb-let” and you’ll be presented with a dusty collection of little spinning tops that can be launched into battle! Why not even form a little group and give yourself some silly name while you’re at it! The thoughts are sickening…
While waiting for my car one day, I decided to check out Metro Plaza to pass the hours. It was scary to say the least. Large paper signs proclaiming “Beblet! Beblet! Beblet! Come to our store to buy! Yadda Yadda…” were almost everywhere to be seen on the first floor. What was even scarier were the hordes of little kids dragging their moms and dads into stores to buy them a beyblade so they too can be part of the “in” crowd! I went into one of these stores, looked around to make sure no other customer was there and mumbled “Beyblade ache?” The shopkeeper’s eyes lit up, he gave me a large yellow-toothed smile and yelled to his assistant to bring out all the beyblades, sorry “beb-lets”, they had. A very dusty pile of crushed and otherwise, severely abused, plastic toy cases were dumped in front of me. The packaging was faded and the toys themselves looked like they’d been brought here in a leaky old freighter which was on its last propeller. There was kanji all over the packaging proclaiming god knows what and a bunch of “blade” stats at the back. The tops were pitifully small and the paint-work was horrible. Some looked like one small bump would shatter them. Out of curiosity, I asked for the price. I was expecting maybe 100 to 250 at the most since they did come with launchers. I WAS NOT expecting a number like 600. And those were the cheap ones! He also brought out slightly bigger beyblades (in better condition, thankfully) with absurd features like metallic rims and specifications like “low grip rolling” and “semi-flat turning” and what-not. I didn’t dare ask the prices of those ones. Then to finish it off he brought out the créme of his collection, a boxed beyblade set with two large beyblades and a tournament arena (which is just a nicer word for “large metallic bowl”). The price was astronomical. I know people’s spending habits can be odd, but why the hell would you spend so much on that rather cheap, trashy looking stuff? Weren’t wooden tops and string good enough?
A few weeks back my kid brother was invited to a birthday party. It wasn’t a normal party either! On the invitation card was written in big bold letters (with pictures) “BeyBlade Tournament”! I almost fell over. The stories I heard after he got back only confirmed it all: the kids have simply gone mad thanks to “beb-let”.
I only shudder to think what’s next in this line of anime fads…
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