Anime Review - FLCL

FLCL

An Anime Review By
Le Chupacabra

Gainax Entertainment
6 OVAs/Episodes
Age Rating 15+

Naota is your average adolescent with his fair share of the odd trials and tribulations that are juxtaposed with the experience of growing up. Of course things don’t truly get wacky till the day a crazy woman on a scooter crashes into him and then to complete the deal, wallops him on the head with her guitar. Then something strange begins to grow out from poor Naota’s cranium…

“What. The. ?” was the first thing that came out of my mouth after I finished the 6 OVAs that constitute FLCL (aka Furi Kuri). Watching FLCL was like having gone into a non-stop head-banging seizure at a heavy metal concert, having your face slapped silly, gasping for breath while drowning and also taking a trip through the minds of Dali, Picasso and other avant-garde artists. Not in that order mind you. But that’s what FLCL is… avant-garde in every sense of the world. It’s a pure assault on all of your senses; FLCL is craziness incarnate.

But is it any good? And what is it really about?

To be honest it’s nigh on impossible answering both those questions. FLCL is definitely entertaining – it certainly takes that word to unimaginable limits. An eclectic concoction of brilliantly performed rock music (by The Pillows… no, I’ve never heard of them either) and some truly memorable artwork, FLCL leaves your head reeling for hours. Images flash by at light speed and often need you to rewind and take in what you missed. But you should definitely not pass up any part of it. Rife with sight gags and subtle (and not-so subtle) cultural references, FLCL is what can be called true art.

Now the striking thing about the story of FLCL is that there seems to be nothing solid about it. It’s infinitely subliminal – it’s full of messages seemingly about everything. The beauty of it all is that each viewer will find his or her own interpretation of it. Adults will look at it from their perspective while kids will look at it from theirs. I’d like to believe that each one’s impressions will be unique. FLCL is symbolic, it’s insanely incoherent and you know what, you’ll probably never even make any sense of it even after hundreds of viewings. That is what FLCL is about, I think.

If it’s anything, FLCL is truly a work of genius and unbounded creativity that’s as profound as it is mystifying. It will shatter the limits of your imagination and perspective. And it’s definitely guaranteed to bring about some temporary insanity as well. You’ve been warned!

Videogames as mainsteam media: Yay or Nay?

Videogames as mainstream media: Yay or Nay?

By Le Chupacabra

Consider these factoids:

• the Xbox game, Halo 2, earned $125m on day one, breaking the all-time opening day records for any form of media;
• Metal Gear Solid creator Hideo Kojima was hailed as one of The 20 Most Influential People of the 21^st Century by Newsweek;
• the US Army is utilising games like America’s Army for recruiting purposes and Full Spectrum Warrior for combat training;
• the Sony PlayStation received an Emmy Award for ‘Outstanding Achievement in Technology and Advanced New Media’;
• Nintendo’s Mario character has earned himself a wax figure at the Hollywood Wax Museum in lieu of The Matrix’s Neo and Trinity!

Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

It also proves a very important point: videogames are no longer the niche hobby that they once were. It’s no exaggeration to say that it’s slowly become mainstream media much like films, books or even music. Today’s games are indeed a far cry from the blips and flashes of Pong or Space Invaders. Titles like the Grand Theft Auto and Legend of Zelda have sold hundreds of millions of copies over the past few years. Yet how is this phenomenon permeating into the masses?

Before, media ‘entertainment’ could be referred to that gleaned from reading books/comics, watching films/television and listening to music. All those forms run strong today, but among them (with the exception of music) they lack one feature: interactivity. Then came videogames.

For the first time, you were in near-complete control of the action, the drama and the suspense; being able to carve your own level of entertainment is a key point of the attraction towards gaming. In a society where we demand more control of our hectic lives, games are becoming an extension of our natural tendencies and much like other media, a sort of escape from reality. That’s only the beginning. Besides the fact that playing games is enjoyable in itself, they aren’t just about mashing buttons; there are titles that make you stop and think, questions about ethics and morality are raised – but aren’t those the tasks of books and movies? Not anymore. Elements of captivating storylines and multidimensional characters are not just seen from the mere audiences’ perspective. By combining that essential spice of interactivity, videogames provide the melting pot where all other media forms converge to allow experiences beyond the norm.

Games have been coined as childish, trivial pastimes by our elders, but with the complexities and minutiae involved in today’s titles, they are anything but. The casual person may see a game as nothing more than pointing a gun and shooting everything. These titles can be viewed as stereotypes that run rampant and mar the image of videogames as a creative media. But doesn’t that happen for movies and books as well?

There are many games that simply brim with a ‘feel-good’ factor that people enjoy from movies, TV or books in a way that just comes naturally. In Mario you run through levels just by timing jumps, defeating enemies and traversing through traps. It’s the simplicity of it all combined with other aspects that makes it so utterly compelling. Titles like this offer genuinely addictive fun without any strings attached. Sports titles are ones that have truly become a part of the mainstream now. In the same way that physically playing sports is a way of bringing people together into a competitive environment, the game renditions can do the same. One will be surprised to know how much strategising and co-ordination a sports videogame often requires. These also bring out the competitive spirits within the players and you see the same fervour that one sees on the pitch or the field. In Europe, thousands of gamers unite to play in ‘PES (Pro Evolution Soccer) Football Tournaments’ sponsored by the developer Konami. There are real cash prizes involved but besides that, everyone does have a genuinely enjoyable experience: they’re not only there to win, but to have fun. That’s one of the beauties of gaming: being able to feel genuine gratification from what appears to be an artificial medium.

However, don’t let that lead you to think gaming is about sheer mindless merrymaking. Books like 1984 and movies like Citizen Kane are thought-provoking ventures that seek to question many an event, creed or emotion. Philosophical musing and moral issues are endeavours that one does not normally associate with videogames yet that is further from the truth than you think. Deus Ex dealt with swirling Government conspiracies that were seemingly fantastical, yet were quite close to many truths. A prime example is the Metal Gear Solid series. Through the medium of gaming, Director Hideo Kojima has passed along many an ideology. One such analogy centered on the theme of dealing with ramifications of nuclear proliferation. In the award-winning MGS2, you are given enemies who display incredibly life-like AI. While confronting them you can either kill them or harmlessly tranquilise them. The fact that a videogame allows you to consider morals in such situations only hints towards the depths that can explored via this medium. Issues like preserving the past, data manipulation, being able to control society and questioning the morality of human dogmas were all major points being brought up – these are terrifyingly relevant real-world topics but gasp, they’re being discussed and pondered over in a videogame… and brilliantly so! You’ll be surprised how many of these ideologies run parallel to the musings of minds like Shakespeare and Nietzsche; videogames are becoming rather complex beasts. A key feature that is becoming prevalent in other games is this similar tendency to pass along significant messages that are relevant to the consumers, the times and various situations. Remember why kids learnt more about ‘green issues’ from Captain Planet rather than the stern Geography teacher at school? It wasn’t the messages themselves, rather the medium that changed their attitude towards accepting and assimilating the ideas. Surprisingly, games have the power to influence, and even moreso today.

The similarities between games and movies are increasing with each new game release. Gamers demand engrossing storylines, compelling characters and cinema-quality presentation in their titles. This has lead to the creation of vast, sweeping epics like the Final Fantasy series to the alluring sci-fi world of Halo. These are, in many ways, the gaming incarnations of films like The Lord of the Rings or Star Wars. Development studios now share many of Hollywood’s key assets for such games: gaffers (lighting professionals), conceptual designers, voice-actors, scriptwriters to even world-renowned music composers and directors! It’s also become in vogue to release game tie-ins of new (and old) films. Examples range from the upcoming King Kong to recent films like Batman Begins to classics like The Godfather and Star Wars. These collaborations exist due to the fact that these companies firmly appreciate gaming as a solid entertainment medium with immense commercial potential. Plus, the financial risks are justified since they are catering to a ready-made fan-base. It’s an interesting relationship that has lead to both industries using mutual talent.

Music was something less touched upon in gaming but it was a presence without which much of the experience loses it charm. From the pastoral fantasy themes in Legend of Zelda to the evocative orchestrations in Halo 2, the music has certainly evolved, but the emotional impact remains as potent as ever. Many people associate music with particular themes (as in musical themes) that appeal to their sensibilities and it’s that association that is the basis of the ‘band’: you listen to a particular band because you are receptive to their brand of music. Games like Mario and Metal Gear Solid have themes that have become famous and loved all over the world: not only because the themes are amazing (they are, really!) but because they have the organic appeal of the magic of music. But music isn’t just an accompaniment; often it is the essence of gameplay. Revolutionary titles like Amplitude and Rez have utilised the alluring power of music to build a gameplay foundation. These are ‘higher concept’ games that do away with traditional or standard game mechanics in order to appeal to a select audience. Examples are rare yet their presence is important in establishing games as art form.

Going on the topic of art form, it must be noted that there are many a title that deserve to be called true works of art. Be it from an aesthetic standpoint or from an ethereal experience, games have come closer to the intangible medium of art. Take Ico for example. Your main task is to accompany a young woman to safety by traversing through a gargantuan trap-laden castle. The premise is tried-and-true but in terms of execution it’s a far more delicate, otherworldly experience. When a game is able to evoke emotions like fear, awe, tension and hope (as well as the opposite) without the use of typical methods like gauges or even music, then it’s an entirely different beast altogether. Words like ‘evocative’ and ‘soul-stirring’ are often used to describe art or music, but they can be used, to the full essence of their meanings, for videogames in such instances. But it doesn’t have to be intangible all the time! Games can be direct showcases of creative artistry through aesthetic design as well.

Makes you think doesn’t it?

All this often leads to other trains of thought, though. If videogames are such powerful media, then they will naturally have addicting or influential tendencies as well. This leads to an issue that has raised many a head today: videogame-induced violence. While there are numerous studies that are supportive of this fact, an equal number say otherwise. However, it wouldn’t be prudent to say that violent titles like Grand Theft Auto or Mortal Kombat are good for society. There were very good reasons as to why there were so many legal ramifications when various questionable materials were found in both games. These aren’t the only offenders mind you! I myself have heard of isolated incidents where children have acted on violent urges induced by playing a particular videogame. There are also situations where people become so engrossed that they often lose awareness of reality. Health factors are also relevant when over-playing and lack of physical activity come into consideration; poor posture, eye-strain and RSI are notable side-effects although those are the results of extended play. Playing in bursts is the safest way to go. When videogames are able to manipulate emotion on such scales that rational thought is often cast aside, the possibilities are worrying. This is something that needs to be carefully regulated. However, the same case remains with R-rated or suggestive films, explicit music lyrics, et al for the rest of the media world.

So, there you have it. I may have changed your opinion or at least given you many points to ponder about. In the end, it is the mass population that will decide whether videogaming is here to stay or not.

Ek Deshe Ek Raja Chilo...

Ek Deshe Ek Raja Chilo...

By Le Chupacabra

(uncredited)

One beginning yet so many endings. This very line would be enough captivate the audience, namely us during our toddler years, till the last word was spoken. It was a time when a little imagination, a cold glass of Tang and dim lighting were enough to let our minds free themselves from the constraints of the body and fly into a realm of fantasy where anything was possible. Those were truly sweet times, indeed.

Back then, we would cheer on the young but dauntless Prince who would venture forth, in the place of his elder brothers who had spectacularly failed, to save the lovely Princess. We would utterly despise the wicked stepmother who had so many misfortunes cast upon the daughter of her new husband, the King. And we would, of course, smile and shake our heads at the noble yet absolutely hapless Kings as they would eventually resort to some unknown Prince or his youngest son to rescue the Princess, the Kingdom or even both! There were monstrous ogres and demonic beings that needed slaying; each swipe of the sword, each grunt the hero uttered all these little things were lovingly and lavishly detailed by our nanis and buas in ways that cinema or even literature failed to convey.

My own nani would often break into melodious songs at particular points, beautifully expressing in verse what failed to be done in prose.

It was during those times that one stopped listening with ears and started feeling the tale itself within one's heart. My dadi wouldn't sing but her ghost tales were something to be savoured! It was truly an experience that was just beyond anything this material world could offer.

It's sad how we tend to be overly critical of those very tales now; marking out each of their 'foibles', pointing out 'plot-holes', making fun of the 'stereotypes' flaws that actually gave them their mystique in the first place! We laugh out that it's always the youngest Prince who wins the heart of the Princess. We joke about how the evil giant/troll/rakhkhosh was usually defeated by luck, by putting him to sleep, by finding his weak point (which by the way, was always well-protected or kept in a golden box) or a combination of the above. We now tend to counter impossible feats of heroism and bravery by stating Laws of Physics or Chemistry learned by rote. By picking apart the magic that is the heart of these stories and thrusting it upon the jagged peaks of commonsense and logic we all but destroy the true essence of such fantasies. Shows like CSI and 24 cater to us in the stead of these old yarns simply because they are an extension of our currently complicated and convoluted mindsets. Hindi serials with their layers and layers (and sub-layers) of minute twists, turns and unnecessary intricacies just simply segue well with the thinking patterns of older people regardless of whether they are or aren't like the characters in the shows. Whenever the phrase 'fairy tale' or the word 'roopkotha' pops up it's usually met with derisive snorts on the part of these people. But it's not only them, it's the same for us teenagers and yes, even the young ones of today can't get their satisfaction from simple fantasy yarns anymore. You can call it a 'generation gap'… 'modernisation'… or even 'the way it is nowadays'… but the fact remains that this magical, exquisite art of storytelling is disappearing with our grandparents' generation and you know what? - it's extremely sad.

Sometimes we need to untangle ourselves from the overly Byzantine rigours of everyday life. But this time: put away the remote control, pack up that PS2 controller and unplug those headphones instead, grab yourself a bunch of chocolate chip cookies and head over to your grandmother's house. You just might revel in the very magic that made your childhood such a memorable time!

PS2 Game Review - The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction

The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction

A PS2 Game Review
By Le Chupacabra

There’s a reason why games never let you start off with the coolest weapons or the most powerful attacks: it defeats the purpose of actually playing through it for the challenge, innit? It’d still be nice to be able to wreak utter havoc from the get go, though!

Take the ‘Incredible’ Hulk: he’s big, green and very mean (you would be too if you were that green). He’s also incredibly (pun intended) powerful. While it would be interesting to play as a semi-weakling who goes about earning his special moves, it makes no sense. Why? Because, if you want to play as the Hulk, the fun lies in being able to ‘HULK SMASH!!!’ from the second the game begins.

If being able to run amuck and just bash things up in the most outrageous of ways is what you want, this game is there to serve it up on a silver platter. With mashed-potatoes-and-gravy on the side, bless it.

The game boasts fairly nice graphics, rudimentary physics and some rather pleasing explosions. The aural aspect is also very good. The music is apt, voice-overs are suitably hammy and the sound effects just explode (pun intended, again) from your speakers. As you can see, this game isn’t about looking amazing or about having an Oscar-calibre soundtrack. The visuals and sound effects are geared towards a single purpose: to make you feel, nay… to make you become the Hulk.

The game is set across two main areas: your basic city with all manner of bridges, tall buildings, screaming pedestrians and lots of traffic and an expansive desert which teems with rocky outcrops and ‘secret’ military bases, naturally. Your objectives will have you flitting between the two to accomplish various missions with some rather tough boss battles to cull the monotony. Of course, the Hulk is anything but monotonous. The whole mission structure is simply one large euphemism for giving you the ability to just… go… wild! From the beginning, you can jump miles into the air only to come crashing down with a devastating shockwave. You can let your fists fly and turn cars, trucks and tanks into scrap metal. You can even go into a charging run that’s sure to clear your path – buildings and all. If you time it right you can even run across the side of buildings whilst charging a jump, then just power off like a bullet only to ram headfirst into the military chopper that was about to shoot you down. Combinations like running headlong into everything whilst simultaneously charging a jump and an attack are all very possible. What you can and can’t do easily depends on your imagination here! Very soon you can turn small cars into gigantic steel boxing-gloves (known in D&D circles as ‘gauntlets’) and soon after, use flattened buses as skateboards. With the former, you can proceed to mash everything with greater ease while the skateboard is just plain sadistic: think Tony Hawk’s meets Burnout! Of course it’s not only vehicles you can torture! Pick up that attacking sentry, smack him a few times around the face and then politely place him down again… only to flick him a few miles away with your gigantic green fingers. Fancy a game of golf? Use a nearby telephone pole and turn it into a DIY golf club. You don’t need to worry about losing the ball here: what do you think those scampering citizens are for, eh? Just proceed to mash Square and watch them fly away while screaming at the top of their lungs. If you maintain your streak of wreaking absolute mayhem, the police and National Security will soon begin to appear. Dispatch them as you see fit! Of course, they do start sending some rather powerful ‘Anti-Hulk’ robots after a while. Regardless of how much the game gives you for free, it’s then time to sit back and earn a few worthwhile upgrades or else you’ll be defeated all too easily. If you can’t face them, pull a Spider-Man and run up the side of the skyscrapers, keep linking your jumps and you’ll be able to clear whole city blocks without breaking sweat. Once you’ve carried out the necessary preparations needed to take them on, proceed to bash them till they’re just so many nuts and bolts! When a game is able to have cackling maniacally within a few minutes of playing, you know it’s gone and done something right!

The Hulk isn’t about considering moral ethics nor is it about solving brain-taxing puzzles. The Hulk’s graphics are nothing to write home about and its soundtrack is just okay. However, the Hulk is about being able to feel empowered with the ability to cause total chaos and destruction in the most creative ways imaginable; this game is simply about having fun. It indeed deserves the subtitle Ultimate Destruction.

PS2 Game Review - Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks

Mortal Kombat:

Shaolin Monks

A PS2 Game Review
By Le Chupacabra

'Liu Kang! We must stop the evil emperor Shang Tsung!'
'Yes, we must… for he is… evil!'

Now imagine saying that in the most pathetic of pseudo-Oriental accents whilst pausing after. Every. Single. Word. Like. This. In the meantime, you should be making hand-gestures like the rappers in music videos; with each hand raising and falling with the pauses. Makes for a pretty entertaining dance, eh?

Anyway, back on topic. This game has the funniest (although, unintentionally) cutscenes I've seen in quite some time. The voice acting is ridiculously camp and the body language even more so. The dialogue makes no sense whatsoever and the attempts at genuine humour? Well let's say they're hilarious, but not in the way the developers intended.

Now, if you can get past all that, some very basic graphics and other flaws, you'll have found that the core of this game - the gameplay is absolutely brilliant and rather addictive.

Shaolin Monks is a far kry (sorry, couldn't help it) from all the MKs in that it's a 3rd person action-brawler as opposed to a 2D (or 3D) fighting game. At the most basic level, you maul your way through the stages, solve some simple puzzles (usually involving decapitation, disembowelment, or a kombination of both) and face a boss or two. Then you rinse and repeat. With such a tedious formula in tow, one might suspect that the game would lose its appeal within a few hours. Not so in Shaolin Monks. The game may fail in terms of presentation, but it makes up for it in bucket-loads when it comes to that extremely elusive facet that makes a title truly memorable: the fun factor. MK: SM is undeniably, unabashedly and utterly fun.

Enemy AI is just right; they're obviously kind of stupid, but still smart enough to provide a challenge. But in essence they are simply cannon fodder for you to go wild with! The fighting mechanics are very refined allowing you to combine a plethora of punches, kicks, uppercuts and classic MK moves to create your own eye candy. Once you start racking up the EXP points, you can unlock more viscerally satisfying attacks and specials. From the very beginning you have access to moves like Liu Kang's fireballs and Kung Lao's teleportation attacks. Being able to mix these moves into the kombat (last time, I promise) is what makes it so fun! You start off with an initial attack, punching the enemy twice, but then you follow up with an uppercut and send him flying. Just before he falls down, you loft him again but this time you teleport, appear above him and then send him back down with a flurry of kicks to the face. All this is standard in most action games, but it's the MK pedigree that sets this one apart. Ergo, given the nature of MK and its love for showcasing extreme violence, the game becomes even more enticing. The hits are accentuated with unnecessarily loud sound effects and the enemies keep spewing oversized gobs of claret. For some reason, it just feels satisfying hitting away at these hapless idiots! Of course, what's a MK without violent finishers aka Fatalities? Thankfully, you'll have learned the first of many Fatalities within ten minutes of playing. When initiated, everyone freezes and a cutscene plays of your avatar slicing, dicing, mutilating or performing some unspeakably evil act of sadism on the poor buffoon. Guilty pleasure? Hell yeah. Since the game lists the Fatalities you've learnt, there's no second-guessing. In fact the game comprehensively lists all your available movesets so if you're having trouble remembering, just pause and check them out. After a few skims, the moves become second nature so you can keep doling out the pain. You can also pick up and use weapons; these parts are particularly cruel since, much like the Fatalities, the right combinations of attacks will see you chop your adversaries in half (and into more pieces on some occasions!) with their guts spilling out all over the place. Later on, far more carnage is offered in the form of vicious Brutalities and crazier Multalities. MK is definitely not for the weak of heart!

While the Single Player mode is undeniably enjoyable, the “Ko-op” mode is just a blast. Plug in a second controller and play the whole game with a friend or a sibling. The rewards are far more satisfying! Not only can you unlock Ko-op-only secrets but the teamwork element during combat is utterly gratifying. You'll be thrilled when your brother's Liu Kang pops up a grunt with his trademark uppercut only to have the guy's head chopped right off when you use Kung Lao's razor-hat toss. Bosses are no longer unreasonably tough when you get to double-team on them with far more wicked combination attacks that mix-and-match the abilities of Earthrealm's two champions. Need I mention visually arresting Ko-Op attacks that are initiated when your energy bars are full or the fact that there's always a healthy bit of competition when going for the EXP and life orbs?

All of this constitutes into an experience that's far more fulfilling than the sum of its parts and if you have a second kontroller (okay, this is the last one ^_^) and someone willing to play, you owe it to yourself to go through the entire game in Ko-Op mode - it'll be a time worth remembering!

The Cracks of Doom

The Cracks of Doom

By Le Chupacabra

The World as we know it is rife with the mysterious, the unknown and the weird. How were the Pyramids erected? What sinister power curses the Bermuda Triangle? Why the hell did the Sumerians go and invent school? Answers that, ultimately, may remain... unanswered.

Even in our little motherland of Bangladesh, we are besieged by that which we know not of. But beyond ghosts, djinns and other horrific folklore there lies a greater evil. A place of utter horror, steeped in a sickly darkness from which there is no escape. The pungent odours there are enough to melt the very skin off your flesh. These are The Cracks of Doom...

...the Deshi

...Sewers.

An intrepid and brave (and utterly gullible) group of explorers from the organization known only as the Rising Stars decided to face this peril to bring back news to the outer world.

So what unspeakable evils did we find in those putrid depths? Read on…

Teenage Mutant Nin… er… Ganja Turtles

TMNT got cancelled a long time back both here and abroad. Why? Well we asked the former prime time stars while trying not to get high on the mass quantities of rotten, old Ganja these guys… erm… reptiles were smoking. Theirs’ was a tragedy of getting lost in the Big Sewers of the Big Apple. Since they were going for authenticity for a particular episode, they filmed in a real sewer. It wasn’t long until they Michelangelo, driven insane by the smell of pizza (now he admits it was probably something else), followed his nose. The others followed up. They ended up near a huge waterfall pipe which was conjoined to the International Sewer Route®… and you know where this is going, right? Suffice to say, that’s sort of what their story sounded like. It was hard enough not to feel high when surrounded by brown, intoxicating smoke, but then they’d be using “dude!” after every two words followed by “Cowabunga!” at the end of every sentence. Our translators had to work through the Witching Hour® to decipher this stuff. Applaud them! Sadly the TMGTs were starting to get a little rowdy and began flailing around their weapons like little kids. It was definitely the time to move on.

Underground Bands

Ah, yes. The most sought out profession of this teenage generation: being the member of an ‘underground’ band. Of course all isn’t about head-banging and becoming ridiculously hirsute. There are those who have tasted fame and stayed up at the top. And there are those who slipped on the proverbial banana peel and have fallen in poop. We’re not naming any names. Seeing more Ganja smoke in the tunnels led us to believe that the TMGT were back to maul us, but no there was something else. A lot of drawling, ‘I-think-I’m-American/I’m-a-pure-Bangalee’ voices were drifting towards us. And then, an utterly detestable cacophony of what some might call ‘music’ assaulted our very ears. We rushed to the scene, afraid that some lost soul was being tortured to death by a group of savage Sewer Dwellers®. We were wrong. Clad in tattered black clothes, faded (but now green, due to reasons that cannot be printed) jeans and tangled, horrifying locks of hair, they lay haplessly on the floor. They were the Rejected. Some were instantly recognisable – they had, after all, been in the limelight for the duration of an entire song. Otherwise it was like The Attack of Stoned Cloned. Some had broken instruments on their laps and were attacking them with vigour causing them to emit screeching noises not unlike the ones people hear just before being run over by a truck. And the ones without the tools? They were head-banging in complete and perfect sync with each other. It was like some cult and it was scarier than the blue poop our rear-lookout found – now, that was scary. Suffice to say, even the Ku Klux Klan would have found it disturbing.

BBQ (Bangla-Bhai-Qaeda) Coalition HQ

Yes, people have been speculating for years and they’re right! Al-Qaeda’s Bangladesh branch office is indeed one born of a joint venture. Known only as the BBQ Coalition HQ, what better location could one think of for maintaining secrecy than our Deshi Sewers? The people there were quite nice actually! They even acquiesced to use silenced rifles should we ‘see too much’. According to the BBQ representative, the Deshi Sewers provide perfect cover from even the most sophisticated of surveillance tools. Even the most powerful satellite sees the region as a sickening green hue. Reconnaissance robots’ electronically integrated systems immediately fail upon contact with the ever-permeating odour. He commended the ‘deshi people for adapting to such a lethal, noxious fume. Contrary to popular belief, there are manholes in the sewer floor which are there for maintaining ‘liveable’ standards in such a place. These are opened up whenever the USA sends over covert ops specialists. The current body count stands at 67. At one point the man pulled out an AK-47 and asked us whether we’d like to buy any. He agreed to throw in ‘fake’, metal-tipped bullets for free. We graciously (while muttering any and all prayers we could remember) managed to leave (with all limbs intact) with a simple ‘BBQ or Bust… literally’ support button each. Oh, and a fake beard apiece as well.

The Mole-men Conspiracy

They have always been there, yet we of the outer world lack the high level of perception to see them. A race as old as the sewers themselves, the Mole-men have toiled endlessly to make sure we never forget the existence of the underground. Sewage over-spills, stolen manhole covers (which cause people to fall through during floods) and the fermented vapours that emanate forth are all their doing. Standing 4-foot high, their entire bodies are covered in various waste materials, with many an appendage sticking out from awkward angles and erm… places. Only their shockingly shiny eyes and blinding white teeth betray an otherwise indiscernible camouflage. When asked, they smiled in their usual terrifying manner and declared that no bacteria can stand the cleansing power of raw sewage – thus, their pearly whites of legend. Each one is equipped with what appears to be a toilet brush. Muddied by god-knows-what (okay, fine… you know what it is) it is right of passage for this members of this faction. Frequent tournaments are held to see who possesses the highest level of skill with their weapon. Around then, their smiles grew more maniacal and they began to spar and brandish their tools with a flourish. Definitely a good time to leg it, sharpish.

Pirates of the Seven Sea…wers

We sensed the waters (if you want to call it that) swell as if in turmoil and realised… something (although everything here could be classified as ‘something’) was approaching. And it appeared. A ‘magnificent’ craft hewn solely from things unmentionable was approaching us at great speed. A song heralding death broke forth and we suddenly knew what it was: pirates! Alas! It was too late and we were inevitably caught face to face… with small, bespectacled little chaps. Instead of a Jolly Roger there was a CD flapping in the wind and it seemed to be on fire. These were no mere pirates; they were heroes! Thanks to them we have been spared the absurdity of paying (gasp!) full price for our CDs and DVDs. Working endlessly into the night, the pir@tes (as they declare themselves as) churn out hundreds, nay thousands of pir@ted™ discs every month. Our ‘deshi shopkeepers have had many a quota fulfilled thanks to this brave group. The leader, a grizzled veteran with an eye-patch made of what was once a pink Verbatim CD-R, told us that the RIAA and other anti-piracy lobbies had tracked them down and threatened them with billion-dollar lawsuits. How did the Pir@tes respond? Everyone began giant belly laughs unbecoming of their stature and the leader silently mouthed something and all of them became quiet. ‘E-mail Spam’ he said. We bowed graciously and took our leave. Things were starting to get on the hairy side. Yes, hairier than the Underground band members we confronted, if possible.

Should you ever wish to embark upon a journey requiring the highest levels of testicular fortitude and one that will test the mettle, physical and mental, of anyone… then traverse to the Deshi Sewers. It’s an expedition of a lifetime and the memories will be seared in your mind (and nose) for an eternity. For now, we of the organisation known only as the Rising Stars bid you farewell. Adieu!

The Grinch and the Spirit of Eid

The Grinch and the Spirit of Eid

By Le Chupacabra

Waking up that early in the morning is bad enough... but waking up to take a freezing cold shower?

Insanity is the word.

I mean, sure, you wait for an entire month (give or take a day) for that very occasion. Expensive clothes are purchased, tantalising dishes are made and stocked away in the fridge and wallets/purses are emptied for the influx of more green stuff. Yeah, that's right. It's none other than Eid-ul-Fitr.

Not to insult the religion or anyone, sometimes one thinks that as time goes on even a simple, enjoyable occasion like this can get bogged down with too many... um... attachments. That begs the question: are there too many strings attached in order to make Eid-ul-Fitr a truly joyous celebration?

Firstly, there's the unnecessary task of visiting various tailors and seamstresses all for the purpose of having them craft seven to eight pieces of overtly extravagant apparel that one will don only for a day or two. Okay, maybe they will garb themselves in those very vestments once all memory on the part of others has faded, but by that time, they'll have amassed yet another wardrobe of items. Sort of defeats the purpose, doesn't it?

Of course, there are also the pre-Eid preparations that go on for three to four nights prior to the occasion. Sweet delectables of innumerable colours and shapes are everywhere in the kitchen and recall descriptions from ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’. Yet sadly, the bulk of these end up un-devoured and are relegated to becoming tea-time snacks long after Eid has passed. Mountains of pulao, biriyani and ritualistic accompaniments such as roasts, thick daal and other items are cooked to perfection and gloriously laid out in the finest platters available. Hey, I wouldn't dream of complaining about this! But thinking from the perspective of the mothers (and domestic staff) who toil away till 2AM at night, I don't think it's a very enjoyable thing. It certainly looks great, smells great and it sure as hell tastes fantastic, but after you've spent so long being bombarded with the same aroma for hours, the palatability is certainly lower for them. Plus, the fact is our moms set aside their daily activities to channel their energies in order to work like maniacs so that others can eat happily the next day. Routine? Yes, but it's also unnecessarily tiring methinks. All that work for one single day?

Then there's the whole task of Eidis. Normally I don't mind what I get, but I've seen the little ones look utterly depressed when a single, crisp 500Tk note is lovingly given to them. Yeah, at one time, the kids were bothered about how many notes they got regardless of monetary value, but with these new, cheeky little monkeys, it seems they've figured out the art of value. It's funny albeit annoying to see an 8-year old moping in a corner on glorious Eid day just because his Eidi haul was unsatisfactory. What happened to just enjoying Eid for the heck of it?

Going back to the first sentence, there are my personal qualms as well: the hours just before the Imam breaks the ice by announcing Eid. Waking up early in the morning is not my forte, and when there's a free, icy cold shower offer attached to the deal, it's doubly annoying. Personally, I hate the payjama-panjabi dress combination: it’s just bloody annoying. Having to wrestle myself into a pair while being half-asleep is none too enjoyable an experience. Since the mosque we go to commences the prayers before the others, we need to get there fast and early. I still wonder if I’ve said the niyaat right for the past few years since I was usually drowsing off most of the time.

Having said all that, I once again thought of the question I asked: are there too many strings attached in order to make Eid-ul-Fitr a truly joyous celebration? Maybe so. However, once you get home from the mosque and come home to spend the rest of the day eating, drinking, laughing and generally having a truly enjoyable time with your friends and family, you realise all those niggles and annoyances are just insubstantial. So the true answer to that question is a resounding and heartfelt ‘NO!’ because in the end, Eid’s all about the love, innit?

So for all of you people out there… Eid grumblers included…

Eid Mubarak!

Fiction - The Heavens

My second fiction! I really hope to retain the momentum with this fiction thingy because, yeah, I myself think that I've written one review too many! But that doesn't mean I won't write any game reviews! Most of the ideals behind this fiction came from my father yet again. His staunch belief in never giving up and doing what you believe in - it's but one of the many things I admire about him. He is the best dad ever! Also, some part of the inspiration for this one probably came from what I think is the greatest anime ever: Fullmetal Alchemist. The name 'Alphonse' was taken from there; it's the name of the younger Elric brother who happens to be trapped in a suit of armour. Confused? Check out FMA and you won't be! Unlike Birds which bore some similarities to it's inspiration, this one doesn't really do that too much. I can't really explain the reasons as to which I got the inspiration in the first place and now that I think about it, the only logical one was FMA, so yeah. Both brothers, Ed and Al, show an immense will to keep going forward to achieve their goals, regardless of what happens. This is probably the inspiring facet for this fiction. Erm, I think that's about it! Anyhow, enjoy this one!

The Heavens

By Le Chupacabra

The timing was so perfect one would assume it was intentional. The second I walked into Alphonse's workshop, I heard something like an engine backfiring and suddenly everything (me included) was engulfed in black smoke. Failure #138, I assumed.

As the smoke dissipated I found myself face-to-face with the grinning, soot-covered face of Alphonse Steinbach, 45 - a genius and certifiable nutcase: the typical combination. I shifted aside some documents, placed my briefcase on his table and drew myself a chair. Alphonse nodded and turned back to what I guessed was the cause of the explosion. It was a small, shiny (although it was pretty sooty now) engine chassis connected with a number of black, flexible pipes that vibrated slightly. The pipes were connected to a clear pump through which a dark, brown viscous liquid churned and flowed.

"Hey, that's the new model isn't it?" I asked him excitedly.

"Yup! The RP-SF18... the latest in primary thrust dynamics money can buy! And trust me, it cost me quite a bit, this thing!" Both his eyes were sparkling with absolute delight.

Ever since I could remember, Alphonse had been tinkering with machinery and you know what? He had a real talent for being able to take apart even the most complicated of mechanisms and put it back instantly, as good as new. He probably saved his family thousands of dollars in mechanical repairs since he could fix just about anything with wheels and screws. Although, for the Steinbachs, saving money was a matter of shame; they were one of the richest in the 12th Prefecture. When his father, a shipping magnate, passed away he had left his only son Alphonse about 4/5ths of the family fortune (which added up to a rather enormous amount). While his mother (also deceased) had constantly nagged him to run the family business, Alphonse decided to listen to his father's advice to follow his own dreams. Years later here was the heir to the Steinbach legacy, whiling away the hours (and the cash) by doing what he always loved: messing around with machines.

"So, do you think you got it this time?" I asked without being able to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.

He wheeled around and began:
"You still think I'm crazy, eh? Can't blame ya, either. To be honest, I have no idea. Everything's been done so far, I mean. The body work, the modified fuel tank and I've readjusted the cockpit for those kinds of atmospheric conditions so many times; I could take this baby to outer space. But... the thrust engine can only do so much with the limited fuel supply. You know all this... I mean, it's what the... uh... hundredth time I told ya right? Anyhow, the thing is, this new gizmo: the RP-SF18 is designed to truly boost the performance of conventional thrust engines. This is the first consumer machine of its kind. I could have tried to wing some favours from the Air Force, but I guess for a normal guy buying an old F22, it was already overkill, eh? So this'll have to do. No more fusing stuff to make my own enhancer... this little thing does exactly what I want!" His eye had a glazed, faraway look to them but I knew what he was thinking.

Alphonse had one dream: to be able to fly as high as possible without going beyond into territory where you needed a space suit; he wished to touch the stars without actually entering the eerie void of space. He had spent his years in the Zentra Tech Institute accumulating as much knowledge as he could on flying beyond the conventional altitudes of consumer aircraft. He made many a contact while in the Air Force and everyone he met was infected by his manic energy and desire to carry out his dreams. When he left, they allowed him to purchase an old modified F22 so he could actually make his flights of fancy a reality. It had been a long, difficult road since he refused to take let anyone help with the finer points of his design and despite all his money, it wasn’t exactly making development any faster. However, the guy refused to give up. His designs had failed miserably each time till now, but every time he had laughed it off and just begun from scratch. His desire to never give up was rather inspirational, but this habit of his had its gruesome sides as well.

I gulped and asked him about it finally, “Al… about your legs... I didn’t ever consider asking you but… why don’t you get cybernetic extensions? I mean that way… you could… you know… work more easily rather than rolling around in that wheelchair all day?”

Alphonse turned around again, his face covered with what looked like pity. “You don’t get it do you? See, I’ve lived my entire life for all things made of metal and plastic. But, despite all that, I don’t want to become a part of one, become a real machine that is. Whatever I do, however I do it, will be with these two hands made of flesh and blood. The same goes for these little guys… I’d rather use whatever god gave me.” He ended by wriggling the two stumps which had once been his legs; they had been burnt and damaged beyond medical help during an explosion six years back. He turned his wheelchair around again.

I watched him go back to his work and as he turned his torch on I caught the light flash off the stencilled letters on my briefcase: ‘Pathway to Heaven’ Corp. My construction company’s aim had been to build as high as possible so we could try to reach the home of the gods in the skies above. However for Alphonse, the goal was different: he was a maniac who desired to become a god and fly through the heavens themselves. I realised that one day our skyscrapers, no matter how well they were built, would crumble and fall - diminishing the motto the company tried so hard to maintain. Alphonse, on the other hand might never reach the skies, but his desire to keep toiling away for his passion: that was something that would never falter and that in itself had a worth far beyond heavens themselves.

PS2 Game Review - Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects

MARVEL NEMESIS
RISE OF THE IMPERFECTS

By Le Chupacabra

There are crap games and there are utterly shit games. Now, wheeeeere to place this one on the Craptacular meter, hmm? Probably near the top five, for resembling poo to the nth degree.

That's right, EA has done it again.

Blowing at least a few million green, they roped in all the assets that most companies could dream of. A license from Marvel, original Marvel scribes, artists, et al. Coupling that with a concept that would cause comic fans' heads to explode with sheer joy, nothing could have gone wrong… provided that EA wasn't in charge.

I mean, in terms of presentation its pretty, not-sh*t. It uses a heavily stylised look for the characters which recalls the CG animated Spider-Man they used to show a few months back. Menus are slick, sophisticated and are pretty user-friendly, natch. That's sort of what EA's good at, innit? The new characters are also very well-designed since a major artist from Marvel was in charge of doing so. Good eye-candy here. Even, the character voices are well-done and while they're not the ones we're used to hearing in the animated Marvel shows, they're good sound-alikes that get the job done.

Unfortunately, I'm done praising this game already.
Sadly, in terms of the actual meat-and-potatoes, the gameplay, this once-promising title, really, really lacks. Really. Unlike the traditional side-perspective of fighting games this is more like a brawler set in a sort of boxed, interactive arena so you can move around the characters and let them do what they do best. In other words, it's a huge chance to mess up on making a game when you don't stick to the basics. Movement is rather sluggish for all, so you're only left to get a feel for the characters unique traits via animation and moves alone. The animations themselves are rather stilted and it seems like everyone has Play-Dough crammed up their joints. Unless a character has an auto-aiming attack (like Spider-Man's web missiles), you might as well be circling your opponent for all eternity if you want to hit. More Craptacular™ points here. The environments are interactive to the point that you can pick and chuck random stuff and damage the playing field. BUT, it lacks a certain sense of cohesion. When I use the Thing to flatten a car I want to see it implode into a crushed mass of nothingness, dammit. I refuse to get a generic explosion and end up with what looks like a black pencil case. The same applies for most things. If you want interactive destruction with a Marvel super-hero, look no further than the utterly addictive and suitably violent Hulk: Ultimate Destruction.

Here, the hits are meekly punctuated with what sounds like bizatch-slapping and special powers aren't as impressive as you'd thought they'd be. You might think it'd be awesome to bust out Wolverine's adamantium claws and lacerate your foe with a berserker barrage. Not here. Provided you actually manage to hit your opponent (a rarity with close-combat chars) you'll go into a set animation of been-there-done-that combos that just about ruin the fact that you're playing as one of the coolest characters on the Marvel roster. It's sad, to say the least. At least the grunts are authentic, so I gotta give kudos there. The controls are very iffy as well. It eschews the more traditionalist set up and ends up with a 3rd person/fighting hybrid that's a pain to use. Another bad aspect is that the new characters, The Imperfects as they are called, are just that absolutely imperfect. They feel more like different skins for the Marvel chars than anything else. With utterly ridiculous and laughably lame storylines for each (sadly, they were penned by a revered Marvel scribe), they don't come across as enticing or likeable as any of the Marvel group. But once again, most of your starting roster incorporates these freaks. In order to unlock more Marvel goodness, you have to plunge your head in the toilet after you've RELIEVED yourself, natch you must play the story mode. Words cannot describe how insanely boring, frustrating or pathetic it was. If you want a camp, yet really fun 'fighting game-action/adventurer', Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks offers hours of old school goodness full of high-pitched yelling, gory fatalities and tense boss fights. On the flip side, Marvel Nemesis is just plain sucktacular. It is not worth going through the pain of story mode just to unlock the Marvel characters. There are way better Marvel-based games out there (The Marvel vs. Capcom series being a shining example). Just… just stick to the starting roster and keep playing Versus mode if you insist on playing this game.

I have to admit, initially it was slightly fun (the Versus mode that is, not the story mode) but even then, that lost its appeal. If a fighting game can't retain itself through versus mode, then all hope is lost.

I was really hyped up about this game. The screenshots looked tantalising and the concept seemed brilliant (after all, Marvel vs. Capcom is one the most popular fighting games ever). However, despite a flashy, presentation, everything just plain sucked. There, you heard it here. Now back to Soul Calibur II…

PS2 Game Review - ICO

I C O

A PS2 Game Review
By Le Chupacabra

The story of ICO is rather incomprehensible. Throughout the game there will be hints and glimpses but nothing more. Ico is a boy born with horns and according to village folklore this is a sign of impending doom. Ico is thus locked away in a fortress-prison for all eternity. A sudden earthquake helps him break free of his chamber and taking this chance, he sets out to escape. In the process he discovers an ethereal young woman - a princess - who has been imprisoned. Mysterious shadow creatures try to capture her and it is then that the valiant Ico steps in to save her. Thus begins a story lovingly crafted around the relationship of Ico and Yorda, both on either side of an impenetrable language barrier, yet bound by mutual trust and a simple desire: freedom.

The game tasks you with an objective that is simple to follow but difficult to accomplish: escape. You must traverse the gargantuan castle as you look for a path to freedom. Each area only leads to another and each open window seems to dare you to go further. While the game can be classified as a puzzle title, the experience is simply more than what words can describe. Each ‘puzzle’ is seamlessly and organically integrated into the environment and really gives you an opportunity to put your brain to work. There isn't any complex math logic; all you have to do is let your mind wander and a little imagination and lateral thinking does wonders. The feeling of accomplishment you get after solving any puzzle is incredible. Not only does it fill you with a sense of immense and genuine satisfaction but it fuels your hope and drives you to keep going.

Once you figure out how to pass a certain area, you must now help Yorda. Since she is slightly impaired of mobility, it's upto you to arrange a safer path for her. You may think that it's an inconvenience to be babysitting someone in game, but in Ico you'd be wrong. The game creates this bond between the player and the characters you see. As Ico starts to care more about Yorda, so do you. In return, Yorda's trust in Ico grows. It's a subtle effect yet one that'll immerse you in a way that you can't describe. Yorda will slowly take risks she never would have taken in the beginning. When I played the game for the first time, I was pretty careless and allowed the shadow creatures to capture Yorda many times. When it came to this jump, Yorda didn’t trust me and it took a long time to convince her to jump. Rather than feeling annoyed, I felt guilty since it was my duty to protect her. The next time I played, I made sure I wouldn’t make the same mistake. That time, Yorda jumped the second I called her. True, she never made the gap but somehow she grabbed Ico’s outstretched arm at the last moment and I was able to pull her to safety. It’s moments like these when your heart really pounds and you’re constantly worried that she might not make it the next time. For a game that has none of the ubiquitous ‘trust’ or ‘fear’ meters of current games, the way that ICO evokes such emotion is something that I’ve yet to experience in a video game. While there is some combat it boils down to hitting away at these weird shadow creatures which attempt to kidnap Yorda and take her down into some dark void. Sequences like these have you fighting not for your sake, but to protect Yorda. Not only is it because you have to, it’s also because you want to.

The look and appeal of the environs in Ico are astounding. The ethereal graphics of ICO give off this enchanting feeling of timelessness. For the first time, everything not only looks real but it actually feels so! Each building doesn’t seem to be made of polygons or textures; instead it looks like it was hewn out of stone and brick. Each room is dark, dreary and enormous; it really dampens the spirit. You’ll feel rightfully dwarfed every time! Light is used beautifully. It filters through the small windows and accentuates the darkness you have to traverse through. In open areas it strongly illuminates everything with a radiance that is otherworldly. If you’ve ever read Harry Potter and know what a Pensieve is, then the shadow creatures of this game are a visualisation of the strange mist in the Pensieve. While they look to be made of nothing but dark smoke they feel corporeal and alive at the same time. Everything you see will never feel out of place, and combined with the fact there is no life bar, the game immerses you and will never break that sense till you actually finish the game.

The music in Ico is minimalistic and given the nature of the game and the way it is presented, it’s a perfect choice. The light melodies combined with select guitar chords enhance the evocation that this game so carefully attempts to accomplish.

Ico is like a dream; it’s an experience that always appears to be tangible but is still enigmatic beyond words. Ico will provoke a myriad of emotions within you in a way that’s its simply indescribable. Honestly, very few people will play this game, but those who do and are willing to complete the journey will have experienced something only a dream can offer…

BeyBlade: The New Obsession

BeyBlade: The new Obsession

By Le Chupacabra

No, I’m not here to sing praises in the honour of the latest and greatest (?!) fad that has the kids of the nation gripped. In fact, this is a, shall we say, rant against the absurdity that is BeyBlade.

Okay, the whole fiasco began with Pokémon. They showed the anime on Cartoon Network, kids loved and soon they were after the merchandise, as it is with most things of the same nature. Stores went ballistic with selling thousands of Pokémon Trading Cards. In fact, people are still buying them! Gotta catch ‘em all, right?

Then Toonami India bagged another pathetic anime license (I mean what gives? Where’s FMA, Naruto, Cowboy Bebop… the good stuff?). This time they got yet another tournament-based one by the name of BeyBlade. Now, if you thought Pokémon was grating and annoying, then don’t ruin your day with this one. I mean, seriously, what if the “Blade Breakers” are faced with a dire situation of horrific proportions: a puppy is in distress and must be rescued! *cue dramatic music* Now since they’re all “beybladers” it would be utter sacrilege if they tried to save the mutt by conventional methods. So what would they do? They’d “let it riiiiipp!!!” with their beyblades. Ah yes, the many uses of a spinning top know no bounds. This should give you an idea on how even the most mundane problems on the show are impossible to overcome unless they bust out their “blades”. The fights are the typical “But-haha!-I’ve-yet-to-reveal-my-true-power!” style slugfests. It doesn’t get more “been there, done that” than this. The characters are also the epitome of stereotypical-ness. Coupled with the whole “Americanization” process (more on that another day), a rather lacklustre show was made even lamer. God, don’t even mention the “new and improved” music…

BUT defying all logic, this show is a huge hit with younger public. Smelling the green once again our ‘deshi’ stores have been bringing in the goods on a near-constant basis. Unlike Pokémon, where the games and cards were the nearest you could get to the experience, with Beyblade, they’ve stepped it one notch further. That’s right kids! You can now buy your very own beyblades and tournament rings right here! All your “favourite” beyblade avatars are available in toy-stores across the nation. Just go into any of them and ask for “Beb-let” and you’ll be presented with a dusty collection of little spinning tops that can be launched into battle! Why not even form a little group and give yourself some silly name while you’re at it! The thoughts are sickening…

While waiting for my car one day, I decided to check out Metro Plaza to pass the hours. It was scary to say the least. Large paper signs proclaiming “Beblet! Beblet! Beblet! Come to our store to buy! Yadda Yadda…” were almost everywhere to be seen on the first floor. What was even scarier were the hordes of little kids dragging their moms and dads into stores to buy them a beyblade so they too can be part of the “in” crowd! I went into one of these stores, looked around to make sure no other customer was there and mumbled “Beyblade ache?” The shopkeeper’s eyes lit up, he gave me a large yellow-toothed smile and yelled to his assistant to bring out all the beyblades, sorry “beb-lets”, they had. A very dusty pile of crushed and otherwise, severely abused, plastic toy cases were dumped in front of me. The packaging was faded and the toys themselves looked like they’d been brought here in a leaky old freighter which was on its last propeller. There was kanji all over the packaging proclaiming god knows what and a bunch of “blade” stats at the back. The tops were pitifully small and the paint-work was horrible. Some looked like one small bump would shatter them. Out of curiosity, I asked for the price. I was expecting maybe 100 to 250 at the most since they did come with launchers. I WAS NOT expecting a number like 600. And those were the cheap ones! He also brought out slightly bigger beyblades (in better condition, thankfully) with absurd features like metallic rims and specifications like “low grip rolling” and “semi-flat turning” and what-not. I didn’t dare ask the prices of those ones. Then to finish it off he brought out the créme of his collection, a boxed beyblade set with two large beyblades and a tournament arena (which is just a nicer word for “large metallic bowl”). The price was astronomical. I know people’s spending habits can be odd, but why the hell would you spend so much on that rather cheap, trashy looking stuff? Weren’t wooden tops and string good enough?

A few weeks back my kid brother was invited to a birthday party. It wasn’t a normal party either! On the invitation card was written in big bold letters (with pictures) “BeyBlade Tournament”! I almost fell over. The stories I heard after he got back only confirmed it all: the kids have simply gone mad thanks to “beb-let”.

I only shudder to think what’s next in this line of anime fads…

PC Gaming Rigs: 1337 Edition

PC Gaming Rigs

By Le Chupacabra

Ever wanted to invest in a PC that truly gives exciting gaming experiences? Tired of having to play old games over and over again until you can practically go through each level blindfolded? We’re here to help.

After quite a bit of research, we’ve collected and assimilated information for the needs of you, the PC gamer. We’ve rated each of these four Gaming PCs much like the difficulty selection in a videogame. Starting with the workhorse-like Easy to the Medium powerhouse we go on towards the elite Hard model and the ultimate beast: the Extreme Gaming PC. Note that prices are updated as of printing and are subject to change. They’re merely there to give you a rough idea of how much it’s going to dent your wallet. Also, these PCs have been designed with the PC gamer in mind, so obviously they’ll be pricier than more normal models, innit?

Level: Easy

Particulars	Details	Price+
Processor	Intel Pentium 4 2.66 GHz	8, 950/=
Motherboard	Intel Desktop Board 865GBF	6, 350/=
RAM	512 MB DDR1 (333 Bus)	3, 400/=
HDD	Maxtor 80GB ATA (7200rpm)	4, 100/=
Graphics	Radeon 9600 Pro 256MB AGP8x	8, 000/=
Sound Card	Built-in 6-channel Audio
Display	Samsung 17” Flat CRT	7, 750/=
Speakers	Altec Lansing ATP3 2.1	4, 800/=
FDD	Panasonic 1.44 MB	400/=
Optical Drive	Gigabyte/Sony DVD-ROM 16x	2, 450/=
Keyboard	Multimedia	450/=
Mouse	Optical Scroll	450/=
Casing	ATX 350V	1, 700/=
LAN Card	SureCom 10/100-Base	250/=
	TOTAL	49, 050/=
Misc. Options	ASUS/Imation CD-RW Burner 52x32x52x (add-on)	2, 050/=
	nVidia GeForce FX5700 256MB AGP8x*	8, 500/=
	MicroLab X4 5.1	6, 000/=

(add-on): Another option to add onto your PC to take advantage of improved performance.
*: Consider it a suitable alternative to the relevant product mentioned in the main list.
⁺: Prices are updated as of printing and are ALWAYS subject to change.

This is your basic, no-frills, bare-bones Gaming PC. General tasks such as DVD-ripping, movie viewing, standard office applications and media editing will be handled quite well with this model, so expect suitable performance increments in the other models. Since we are dealing with game performance I decided to keep a 256MB video-card even for this the lowest-end model. Also, note the Flat CRT monitor which offers crisp, clean visuals at a more affordable price than an LCD monitor. 17” is a minimum requirement for enjoying your PC games (and movie experiences). Since prices are now relatively cheap, I’ve kept a DVD-ROM since most games are more readily available on the medium as well. Altec Lansing speakers are generally the best available. You’re getting greater sound fidelity and quality as opposed to the MicroLab model, despite the ATP3 being 2.1. The ATP3 is pretty much a value buy, in this case. Also, Altec Lansing speakers are quite stylish in design and really complement a high-tech gaming set-up. This ATI card isn’t something you’ll hear people rave about, but its cheap price belies the actual level of performance you’ll be receiving! The nVidia substitute for those interested has been listed in the Misc. Options section. Also note that since there are many Product Partners for the graphics cards, you’ll only have to make sure you’re getting the correct chipset. Names like Sparkle, Gigabyte, et al mean nothing: as long it’s an nVidia or a Radeon chipset it’s all that matters! A LAN card is essential for perusing the InterWeb or for LAN/Online gaming if your connection is good enough. Also note that I’ve mentioned either ASUS or Imation for the writable optical drive. Once again it’s a matter of preference. I’ve used an Imation CD-RW drive for about 3½ years now and it’s still running strong with the same great performance it gave me while it was new. However, if you prefer ASUS, go ahead and make the purchase. Also, for the DVD-ROMs I’ve recommended both Sony and Gigabyte. Most people say Sony is excellent, and personal experience tells me a Gigabyte DVD-ROM drive is rather good too. Avoid ASUS DVD-ROM drives like the plague since they burn out easily. This applies for the next few models as well.

Level: Medium

Particulars	Details	Price+
Processor	Intel Pentium 4 2.8 GHz w/ HT	19, 500/=
Motherboard	Intel Desktop Board 915GAV
RAM	1.0 GB DDR1 (400 Bus)	6, 800/=
HDD	Maxtor 80GB SATA	4, 700/=
Graphics	Radeon X600 Pro 256MB PCI-E	11, 500/=
Sound Card	Creative SoundBlaster Live! 5.1	1, 900/=
Display	17” Samsung Flat CRT	7, 750/=
Speakers	MicroLab X4 5.1	6,000/=
FDD	Panasonic 1.44 MB	400/=
Optical Drive	Gigabyte/Sony DVD-ROM 16x	2, 450/=
Keyboard	Multimedia	450/=
Mouse	Optical Scroll	450/=
Casing	ATX 400V	2, 000/=
LAN Card	On-board 10/100-base
	TOTAL	63, 900/=
Misc. Options	ASUS/Imation CD-RW Burner 52x32x52x (add-on)	2, 100/=
	Radeon X700 256MB PCI-I*	13, 100/=

(add-on): Another option to add onto your PC to take advantage of improved performance.
*: Consider it a suitable alternative to the relevant product mentioned in the main list.
⁺: Prices are updated as of printing and are ALWAYS subject to change.

Now we’ve moved onto the higher-end Intel motherboard which supports the new PCI-Express graphics format. PCI-Express offers much faster performance than AGP8x, but the products aren’t as widespread. Even then, you should really take advantage of this new technology to up the ante of gaming performance even further! Here we use a HT processor but you shouldn’t a big deal of it because the average BD gamer has no such need. Notice the jump to the SATA HDD. While the same size as the previous offering, the SATA transfer-rates are roughly 10x faster than the normal ATA drives. It’s a rather huge jump in performance and something that’s instantly noticeable. All subsequent models will use SATA drives as well. I’ve also moved up to ATI’s X series of graphics cards which are currently market leaders. The other items follow suit.

Level: Hard

Particulars	Details	Price+
Processor	Intel Pentium 4 3.0 GHz w/ HT	22, 500/=
Motherboard	Intel Desktop Board 915GAV
RAM	1.5 GB DDR1 (400 Bus)	10, 200/=
HDD	Maxtor 120GB SATA	6, 800/=
Graphics	nVidia 6600 GT 256MB PCI-E	17, 000/=
Sound Card	Creative Audigy 2 ZS	6, 800/=
Display	Samsung 17” LCD	22, 000/=
Speakers	Creative Inspire T7700 7.1	7, 500/=
FDD	Panasonic 1.44 MB	400/=
Optical Drive 1	Gigabyte/Sony DVD-ROM 16x	2, 450/=
Optical Drive 2	ASUS/Imation CD-RW Burner 52x32x52x	2, 050/=
Keyboard	Multimedia	450/=
Mouse	Optical Scroll	450/=
Casing	ATX 400V Thermal (w/ display)	2, 000/=
LAN Card	On-board 10/100-base
	TOTAL	100, 600/=
Misc. Options	ASUS/Imation DVD±RW 16x8x8x40x24x*	6, 500/=
	Radeon X700 Pro 256MB PCI-E*	17, 000/=
	LG 19” Flatron CRT	16, 500/=
	Altec Lansing 5100 5.1	12, 500/=

(add-on): Another option to add onto your PC to take advantage of improved performance.
*: Consider it a suitable alternative to the relevant product mentioned in the main list.
⁺: Prices are updated as of printing and are ALWAYS subject to change.

As you can see from the specs, this is a rather powerful machine, so I’ve added a few more things to really get the best out of it. The nVidia 6600 GT offers brilliant performance, although the Radeon offering is equally brilliant. We’ve also got an upgrade to a 17” LCD screen. The quality is nothing short of breathtaking and your games will tend to look rather amazing. If you want to save some cash, I’ve also included a downgrade to the 19” LG Flatron CRT. While it’s not LCD, it still looks awesome and the extra screen size makes up for it in spades. I’ve stuck with the Audigy sound card since it offers an amazing sound experience regardless of the speakers! We’ve also got a nice little update to the Creative Inspire T7700 7.1 system; with 6 directional speakers and a central speaker you can experience true surround sound like never before! Also included are two optical drives as opposed to one. A DVD-ROM is a natural choice and the CD-RW drive really comes in handy when making back-ups, burning music CDs and what-have-you. I’ve also decided that with these components, a Thermal casing is a better choice and the monitor-display gives your casing a sophisticated ‘tech’ look. You can also do one thing: replace both optical drives with one DVD±RW drive since they’re rather economically priced now. However, I recommend that you retain your DVD-ROM drive. Why? Because reading pirated discs on the DVD±RW drive will burn it out faster so you’re better off relegating reading tasks to the ROM drive.

Level: Extreme (for now)

Particulars	Details	Price+
Processor	AMD Athlon64 3400+ 64-bit	14, 200/=
Motherboard	ASUS K8NV nForce3 Motherboard	6, 100/=
RAM	2.0 GB DDR1 (400 Bus)	14, 800/=
HDD	Samsung 160 GB SATA	7, 500/=
Graphics	nVidia GeForce 6800 Ultra 256MB AGP8x	38, 000/=
Sound Card	Creative Audigy Platinum Pro	15, 500/=
Display	Samsung 19” LCD	42, 000/=
Speakers	Creative Inspire GD580 5.1 Home Theatre	13, 500/=
FDD	Panasonic 1.44 MB	400/=
Optical Drive 1	Plextor DVD±RW 16x8x8x40x24x	10, 500/=
Optical Drive 2	Gigabyte/Sony DVD-ROM 16x	2, 450/=
Keyboard	Multimedia	450/=
Mouse	A4 Tech Optical Wireless	1, 500/=
Casing	Server ATX 600V Thermal (w/ display)	4, 500/=
LAN Card	D.Link 10/100-Base	450/=
	TOTAL	171, 850/=
Misc. Options	Radeon X800 XT Platinum 256MB AGP8x*	30, 000/=
	AverMedia TV-Tuner (add-on)	4, 200/=
	Creative Inspire T7700 7.1*	7, 500/=

(add-on): Another option to add onto your PC to take advantage of improved performance.
*: Consider it a suitable alternative to the relevant product mentioned in the main list.
⁺: Prices are updated as of printing and are ALWAYS subject to change.

Now, if you’re a nutter with no concept of money, then this machine is what you need. Since we’re looking for optimal gaming experiences, out goes the P4 processor and in comes the scarily powerful AMD Athlon64 64-bit processor (the P4 is a 32-bit processor). However, don’t expect double the level of performance if that’s what you’re thinking. Nonetheless, you will notice a significant jump. Unfortunately, the motherboard doesn’t support PCI-Express, so I tagged on the most powerful AGP graphics card you can find here: the nVidia 6800 Ultra. It is sh*t powerful. The X800 offering is also the best Radeon card you’ll be able to buy as well. Coupled with the Athlon64 processor, you’ll be in true gaming nirvana. For the best sound processor, I’ve chosen Creative’s indomitable Audigy Platinum series which offers the richest, cleanest and sharpest 24-bit sound around. The added expansion bay also allows you to attach all manner of Auxiliary (aka Composite), S/P-DIF Digital and Optical connections to take advantage of Dolby Digital and Dolby Pro Logic II processing. A gargantuan 19” LCD will make the viewing experience even sweeter! For the speaker set-up I went with the GD580, which is Creative’s brilliant 5.1 surround offering. True it’s not 7.1, but the GD580 offers hardware-based real-time Dolby Digital 5.1 and Dolby Pro Logic II processing. And man, unless you’ve heard true Dolby, you don’t know what you’re missing! I’ve upgraded the DVD±RW drive brand as well. Plextor offers absolutely superior performance for the premium price you’re paying. Like I stated before, it’s better to have a secondary DVD-ROM drive along with the DVD±RW drive. This is to make sure your RW drive doesn’t get burned out from reading too many pirated discs. For the LAN card, I’ve gone with the expensive D.Link offering since their networking products offer unmatched performance. You’ll definitely need a Server 600V ATX Thermal casing to make sure this beast gets enough power! Buy a few additional fans to make sure you’re on the safe side with this one. And make sure it’s a good-looking chassis, or you won’t do the specs any justice!

Also as a side note, you may want to consider an alternate version:

Components	Details	Price+
Processor	Intel Pentium 4 3.4 GHz HT	21, 000/=
Motherboard	Gigabyte GA-8N-SLi Pro nVidia nForce4 Board	13, 000/=
RAM	2.0 GB DDR2 (533 Bus)	15, 000/=
Graphics 1	nVidia 6600 GT SLi 256MB PCI-E	34, 000/=
Graphics 2	nVidia 6600 GT SLi 256MB PCI-E
	TOTAL	182, 750/=
Misc. Graphics	ATI Radeon X850 XT Platinum 512MB PCI-E*	40, 000/=
	nVidia GeForce 6800 GT SLi 256MB PCI-E* x2	66, 000/=
	nVidia GeForce 6800 Ultra SLi 512MB PCI-E* x2	78, 000/=

Here, I’ve nixed the Athlon64 for the conventional P4. As of printing, there were no PCI-Express AMD Motherboards so in order to take advantage of the extreme speeds of PCI-E cards, I’ve found this bloody sweet (and brand new) motherboard: the Gigabyte GA-8N-SLi Pro nVidia nForce4 Board (say that 10 times, fast). As you can see, the nVidia CPU chipset used is the brand new nForce4 SLi as opposed to the ASUS one’s nForce3. And, for graphics whores, you’ll be extremely pleased to know that this particular board supports nVidia’s proprietary SLi technology. What does that mean? It means that you can simultaneously connect TWO SLi-supported nVidia graphics cards for TWICE the performance as opposed to a single card! (Thus, the Graphics 1 and 2 options.) So connect up to two 6600 GT SLi’s for 512MB of VRAM and an insane level of graphical prowess! If you can wing it, then go for TWO GeForce 6800 GT SLi’s! For reference, note that the Xbox 360 graphics processor is better than two GeForce 6800 GTs(!!!!) while that of the PS3 surpasses two GeForce 6800 ULTRAs(even more !!!!s) [the ULTRA is more powerful than the GT] working in tandem!!! And lastly, I’ve given a RAM upgrade to the much faster DDR2 RAM which runs at an insanely fast 533MHz Bus speed. This combined with the P4 3.4GHz HT processor, MORE than makes up for the loss of the AMD Athlon64’s 64-bit game crunching action! All other things remain as per the main list, so I’ve only taken the new stuff into consideration for the new total. As always, Misc. Options are not included in the total. I’d like to add that this combination of the GigaByte GA-8N-SLi Pro nForce4 SLi Motherboard and TWO GeForce 6600 GTs running on PCI-E buses, with DDR2 memory for RAM is probably the most powerful configuration and I recommend this version without any reservation whatsoever! The motherboard itself is extremely feature-laden; it’s a gaming freak’s dream come true! The large leeway it offers when it comes to overclocking abilities also gives it an unprecedented level of flexibility when compared to other board solutions!

NOTES:

• Like Caprice Bourett wrote in her letter to me, I must also emphasize the importance of a reliable cooling system for your gaming rig. You should definitely buy a large casing so that all your internal peripherals have breathing space. This also prevents wires and such from getting cluttered up. That will only contribute to the build-up of heat. If possible you can use those detachable little white plastic rings to keep things grouped together - both inside and outside. Even the Easy model should have atleast one extra Casing Fan to keep the temperature down. I recommend 1-2 extra fans for the Easy model, 2-3 for the Medium, 3 for the Hard and 3-4 for the Extreme. You should definitely go for casings with Thermal displays for the Hard and Extreme and only if you have the cash, for the Easy and Medium as well. This way you can keep track of the temperature; it's particularly useful when overclocking comes into play. You should note that extra fans also add a lot to system noise. If you don't mind it, then good - however, it’s still preferred that you search around for 'silent' fans at the very least. These are more expensive but usually worth it. And do not forget, a Server Casing is simply a must for the Extreme model and if you have the cash, it'll be better that you get one for the Medium model as well.
• It is essential that the Extreme and Hard models are used with a 1200VA UPS or else if the electricity dies, you'll have saaaaaaaaaaaaaay.... um 2 minutes before your PC says bye-bye. Repeated occurrences like that will KILL your PC. So yeah, definitely go for a 1200VA UPS and no less, for the aforementioned models.
• For ALL models: A UPS must be purchased for your PC and if it doesn't have a built-in voltage stabilizer/surge protector, then that too must be bought. Having a UPS and a Voltage Stabilizer/Surge Protector is as important as your warranty for protecting your investment. Micro UPSs are usually darn good although I've currently been using this brand called iNeat (supplied by a retailer called ECSAS). It's given me some great performance. However, in the end, your choice is your own and if you wish, you can ask your preferred vendor for their recommendations.
• URGENT: As you should know, the IDB Bhaban IT Fair will be held around the first to second week of this December, 2005. You can take advantage of discounted prices and newer hardware then. I recommend you buy your rig at that time.
• LAST WORD: Once again, this entire article is a rough guide that should merely help you gain a better idea for your dream rig. The prices always fluctuate, so you should always be prepared. Note that, on an average, the prices will increase/decrease by about 100-200TK. from the listings giving here.

By Le Chupacabra