Gaming Cliches That Refuse To Die

Gaming Clichés That Refuse To Die

By Le Chupacabra

Games have been around for ages. Well okay 20 years-ish to be exact. Though games are known for the creativity they bolster, some things just never change. And thus was born… the “gaming cliché”! *cue thunder and lightening*

Bullet-Time

Ever since The Matrix, Max Payne used it. Prince of Persia used it. Enter the Matrix obviously used it. It made sense. But when you start using bullet-time in games like NHL 2004 or Tony Hawk’s Underground or racing games, I think someone’s overdoing it! I mean, bullet-time is fine and dandy, but does it really have to be in every damn game? I don’t believe that WWII soldiers could slow down time itself whenever their “adrenaline” was peaked.

Female characters

It’s not that female characters are themselves clichéd; it’s just how developers portray them. It seems that developers think that the average gamer’s idea of the opposite sex is a ridiculously-proportioned, dollar-figured bombshell who has to wear hot-pants and an incredibly tight top or any other super-skimpy clothes for that matter. Developers, women have breasts. Just accept it.

Collectibles

Stars, eggs, coins, monkeys - so many items, so little time! Platforming games are the prime offenders here. It’s not enough that you have to jump and grab ledges with Zen-like precision but you also have to collect what-not just to proceed. Nothing ruins immersion like finally defeating the main boss and finding out that you can’t watch the “real” ending unless you go back and pick up the slimy blue blobs you gave up collecting after the 1094325th one.

Sneaking Around

Fine: Metal Gear Solid, Splinter Cell and Thief were games that are centered on the concept of playing stealthily. But what do you say to a game that hands you a huge arsenal of weapons, gives you a playing (read: slaying) ground full of gloriously stupid goons and even lets you call in carpet bombing attacks… but… it asks you to go around undetected or else it’s game over? Mercenaries I’m looking at you…

The GTA-clone

The Japanese believe that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but there’s a limit to copying. Ever since GTA 3 came out, every bloody game has to have “open-ended gameplay”. I mean from Jak II to Tony Hawk’s to the blatant-but-still-not-quite rip-offs like True Crime… every game has seems to have jack-able vehicles and wide open areas. Why can’t games just do their own thing?

Button mashing mini-games

Ever get to those parts in a game where you’re taken out of the normal gameplay just to play some obscure mini-game? So you’re going along, minding your own business, when a cutscene suddenly plays: it must be time for some big boss fight! Ominous music plays and you get yourself prepared and arm all your weapons - this is it! You’re about to face the boss head-on when all of a sudden: “Rapidly Tap [button] to proceed”… no wonder so many people have broken controllers.

The Anti-hero…hero

Why does every single main character have to have the following attributes: (1) an overdone gruff, gravely voice (2) an angst-y, I-hate-the-world attitude (3) and a five-o’-clock shadow? Oh and they also have to have complete body-builder muscles. They always have to be out for some random, non-specific revenge and the use of cheesy one-liners is a must. I mean, is it too much to ask for a good guy who actually is a, you know, good friendly person?

God-mode

It all started with a game named Doom. When players couldn’t take the horror of facing three small bunnies even when armed with a tactical nuke, they turned to their one solace: god-mode. Yes, in god-mode you can become completely invulnerable: insusceptible to anything and everything they throw at you… like a god. One thing however, even gods die whenever they fall into the small hidden holes in the ground…

Boxes/Crates

Game developers are often too lazy to think of ways to fill their levels so they fall upon the oldest gaming cliché of all time: boxes. Small boxes, pink boxes, weird boxes, wooden boxes, steel boxes, heck boxed boxes… there is no dearth of them. Some games add them just to show off their “physics engine” while others just make smashing boxes an integral part of gameplay. As you all know, breakable boxes all contain coins / valuables / bombs / everything-you-need-to-get-past-something. Seriously, just let this one die!

Sequel-itis

Final Fantasy XI, Tekken 5, FIFA 200-god-knows-which-year-we’re-on… no movie or book could ever beat games for the barrage of sequels they can churn out. While movies can go into the 2s and 3s, for games, prepare to see numbers that head into the double digits. Worst of all, most of the time, it’s more or less the same game with marginally improved graphics and sound. I mean should I really buy NBA Live 2005 because it boasts a “dynamic new animation system” but it actually looks more or less like the 2001 version, except shinier? It’s high time we saw some new names! Heck, give us the same game if you have to devs, but just stop numbering them!